Why bother?
Many people view forgiveness as something that helps the person being forgiven. It certainly can make them feel better, but forgiveness benefits you most of all.
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| Forgiving Someone: Why Even Bother? |
Forgiveness helps you heal. Holding onto resentment can sour you and keep you from finding peace. When you can’t forgive, your emotional wounds can’t close and heal.
“When you forgive, you’re not saying what someone did was OK. You’re deciding to let go of the burden of stuck and unresolved emotions,” explains Kim Egel, a therapist in San Diego, California. “Forgiveness allows you to let go of pain and continue with a lighter heart.”
Forgiveness, in other words, enables you to begin moving away from anger and resentment before they seep into all areas of your life.
Forgiveness can improve other relationships
Harboring anger toward someone who hurt you doesn’t just affect your relationship with that person.
Grudges and angry feelings can eventually overflow into your other relationships. You might: have a shorter temper with loved ones
struggle to trust again
have difficulty building new relationships
Offering compassion instead of anger can help increaseTrusted Source's kindness and feelings of connection to all people, not just the person you forgive.
Forgiveness has health benefits
By practicing forgiveness, you may be doing your health a favor.
Forgiveness helps reduce stress, according to research from 2016Trusted Source. Less stress can have positive health outcomes, including lower blood pressure
reduced anxiety
better sleep
improved self-esteem
Forgiveness may also allow you to let go of unhealthy anger, which can contribute to stress
muscle tension
heart problems
decreased immune function
In general, forgiveness has an overall positive impact on emotional health, well-being, and empathy for others.
It can also lead to more fulfilling relationships — including the one you have with yourself.
Forgiveness can help you reconcile
First, it’s important to understand that you can forgive someone without resuming contact or picking a relationship back up.
You can forgive someone even if you know you can never have the same relationship.
Depending on the circumstances, you may even need to avoid contact.
That said, everyone makes mistakes. When a loved one hurts you, forgiving them can open the door to relationship repair.
In many cases, the act of forgiveness can help someone who inadvertently caused pain to realize how they hurt you.
This provides an opportunity for learning and growth.
Forgiveness may not mend your relationship immediately, but it’s a good start.
Healthline
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