Sexual urge is God-given which fasting and prayer cannot remove but it can be managed. To those who are married, they are expected to go all the way with their partners when they feel the urge and not to any other person. If their partner is not around, they should learn to exercise self-control.

Self-control
Excerpts from Sexual purity by Bisi Adewale



To those that are not married, managing your sexuality is compulsory if you must obey God and if you must live a good and meaningful life; a life free of guilt, fear, tears, failure and regret. As a complete man/woman sexual urge one time or the other areas sure as hunger for food. But the mere fact that you are having sexual feeling does not give you the go ahead "to sleep around because there is time for everything. If you do it the wrong time, you will do it the wrong way and annoy God your maker. Sex, before or outside marriage, is like taking poison to quench one's thirst.


How do you control your urges?

1) Master your thoughts. Sow a thought and reap an act; sow an act and reap an habit; sow an habit and reap a character; sow a character and reap a destiny. The minute a forbidden thought comes to mind, drag it out. Do not entertain it. Say loudly that the Lord is your strength. Phil 4:13


2) Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it is the issues of life.


Renew your mind daily by the word of God, through quiet time, family altar and yielding to the holy ghost. Titus 3:3-7, Rom 12:12.


3) Engage with physical exercise such as football, table tennis, and other indoor games. Engage in spiritual exercise and make prayer your hobby.


4) Guide your eyes. Do not look upon a woman/man who is not your spouse twice. Do not stare at what will consume you with lust. Your eyes are gateways to your soul therefore, be careful what you watch and what you look at.


5) Take a Joseph flight. Never think you can resist sin; flee away from it. A brother that is sitting opposite a carelessly seated lady in a mini skirt will do himself a lot of favor by changing his position. A lady sitting among men discussing ungodly escapades will do herself a lot of favor by leaving the place.


6) If you struggle with lust, never go to bed unless you are sleepy or else you will be lusting in bed.


7) For those struggling with masturbation, always sing worship songs in the bathroom and do not pay too much attention to your private area. Seek help from trusted elders, ministers.


8) Never go into relationship if you are not ripe for it. Long courtship is dangerous.


9) Pursue a healthy, mental and emotional lifestyle. Life has many worthwhile cultural interests and activities that do not revolve around sex.


10) Seperate yourself from friends who continually drag you into sexual sins. Evil company corrupts good manners. Dress decently.


11) Couples should direct all sexual fantasies towards their patners. Do not hesitate to expose any sexual advances from any quarters to your partner. Be sincere with yourself; never pretend you are an angel.


In conclusion, managing your sexuality is very important before and after marriage. You can stay pure; it is possible. There are high levels of consciousness you may never attain if your energy is always chanelled to doing the wrong things.
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