Friday, 20 March 2020

Coach Duri On How To Deal With Insecurity In A Marriage

DEALING WITH IN SECURITY IN MARRIAGE


If someone is in a relationship and a partner feels insecure, there are some things that can be done to support a partner in feeling more secure.
By Master Coach Duri (President & Founder: International Coaching & Mentoring Foundation ICMF)


1. It is not the job of one person to make the other feel secure. Security is an inside job. It cannot created from the outside.

2. Create a safe environment to discuss the insecurity. No raised voices. No blaming or shaming language. Listen without judgement.

3. The partner who feels insecure should get very clear on what is making them feel insecure without using blaming language. Assume your partner is unaware of how their actions or non-actions is affecting you.
Disagreements
4. Get clear on what your partner can do differently that will lessen the triggers of you feeling insecure. Tell them how to support you. If you do not know, you need to figure that out for them. Do not expect them to know what will make you feel better.

5. Praise and recognize effort and visible change. Provide kind feedback. Be patient.

6. Work on yourself and how you react to feeling insecure. Make changes of your own that make you feel more secure.

7. If they make all the changes you requested and you still feel insecure, it may be time to visit a therapist because the problem is probably deeper.

Insecurity is a feeling. It is not right. It is not wrong. It is not proof of anything. It is just pointing you in the direction of something you need to improve. If a partner feels safe enough with you to bring you their insecurity and ask for your help working on it, then you have someone who values your love and relationship. Do not let inflated ego squander your opportunity for intimacy.

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