Like I said in another article, marriage has its own stages and if we are willing to follow those stages we will be able to have a great and satisfactory marriage later in life, as long as we are growing, maturing, learning and changing.
1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: This is the "wow" stage. Lots of new things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire, cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together. Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people's head at the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun.
Sexual exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen, feeding him and lots more. It's the honeymoon stage and it's so so beautiful.
2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: This is when you begin to notice weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away but didn't. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily, she won't bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many hours watching football and ignores you when you talk.
"What's just wrong with this guy?" You think aloud, well it's part of marriage.
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| Old happy couple |
4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: When you both begin to face the reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner's weaknesses. You eventually realize anger and malice do not solve any problem and begin to find ways to deal with your differences, both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to each other.
5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: When it dawns on you that some things are just part of your partner and may never change. You resign from anger, abuse and quarrel and choose to accept him/her, lovingly adjust to him/her and enjoy him/her regardless of his/her weaknesses.
6. THE RESTFUL STAGE: This is the stage you permanently accept him/her with all his/her strengths, weaknesses, shortcomings and flaws and love him/her unconditionally regardless of what he/she does. This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally, spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honeymoon again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the challenges you face.
There is no perfect marriage. Every marriage goes through this stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter or better.
You don't have to abuse your spouse or keep malice if God is at the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.
Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the unpleasant stages in marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.
Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a heaven-on-earth experience. Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
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