Any longtime couple you know will agree that marriage takes work and that showing respect and kindness are key to a successful union. Here's more to ponder.
1. Never underestimate the value of asking your partner how his or her day went. Niceties don't become any less nice just because they become routine. At the end of the day, even if you felt like no one cared about anything you did, at least you know your partner will not only care but want to know details.
2. Some fights are just fights. They don't have to be deal breakers. You can be madly in love with a person and still be mad at that person. Fights don't have to spell "The End." Couples that stay together choose the relationship over the conflict.
3. Accept that relationships come with obligations. You might not want to do everything your partner wants you to do with him or her — work events, watching sports he or she likes, even errands — but you also know it makes them happy to have you by their side, which makes doing those things totally worth it.
4. But be honest about what events you feel strongly that your partner should attend. Not everything can be a must. He or she knows to tell you that it's really important you attend a family birthday party every year but will live if you decline an invite to his or her friend's Super Bowl party. You should both be fair about it.
5. Little surprise purchases go a long way. Does your partner love mint chocolate chip ice cream? Picking some up while you're at the store shows you were thinking of him or her even while going about your boring everyday chores like restocking the milk.
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| Old Lovers |
7. Kiss hello before doing anything else when you get home. Kiss good-bye when you leave. It's always just the sweetest if he or she has to go to work extra early but stops by to kiss you quickly while trying not to wake you. Or when he or she walks you to the door when you head out. And an immediate kiss when you reunite at the end of the day means you care about each other above all else.
8. Sometimes you have to say no to invitations so you can spend time with each other. Just because your calendar is blank one night doesn't mean you have to agree to plans if someone asks. Life is busy. It's nice to use that free time to just be together.
9. Treat their family like yours. They love to know you think of them as family. And your partner will love to see you treat them like your own. Call or text from time to time. Hang out with them when your significant other isn't around.
10. More "I love yous" are better than fewer. Three words that just never get old. You're seriously not going to say it too much.
11. Be sympathetic when your significant other is sick. Maybe it means canceling dinner plans and picking up soup. Maybe it means running to the drugstore for more cough drops. Don't complain. No one gets sick on purpose, and if the situation were reversed, you know they would take care of you.
12. Take on more of the errands/household chores when the other one is swamped at work. No, you don't want to do laundry, but you do it to make your partner's life easier. And by checking things off your mutual to-do list, you'll be more likely to do things you actually enjoy together when his or her schedule frees up. Plus, you'll have a crazed period at some point too, and it all evens out in the end.
13. Don't make jokes at each other's expense. Be respectful and think about what he or she would want you to share with a group. They're your partner, not your punch line.
14. Be on time. So many meaningless fights can be avoided by being on time. Start getting ready 20 minutes earlier than you think you need to. Chances are either you or your partner, or someone in the party you're meeting, is sensitive about punctuality, so be there when you say you will so you don't seem rude.
15. If someone talks badly about your significant other, defend them. Even if you're generally too polite to correct people or call them out on rudeness, sometimes you have to make an exception. After all, you're supposed to be each other's biggest supporters.
16. Keep each other informed of your individual plans. You're going to stop by and say hello to a friend on Saturday? Great, have fun. But let him or her know where you're going to be so:
i. They don't worry and
ii. They know you won't be around if he wants to make his own plans. It's not a matter of asking permission — it's a matter of being courteous because you always want to rest easy knowing your partner is alive and well and not in trouble.
17. Choose not to fight when you travel. The nice hotel you booked turned out to be not so nice at all. Or he or she forgot to pack your toiletry kit like they said they would. You can get cranky and be "That Couple" having it out at the airport, or you can realize you'll have a good story or inside joke in the future.
18. Be spontaneous. Make a dinner reservation for just the two of you at the last minute. Or just wander into your favorite restaurant and eat at the bar. Surprise him or her with baseball tickets. Keeping things unexpected makes being with the person you love even more fun.
19. Love each other unconditionally. Sometimes it really is just that simple.
