Monday, 23 July 2018

The Lessons That I Have Learned In 30 Years Of Marriage - Pastor Berry Dambaza Speaks (Part 4)

Marriage is not for boys and girls but for people who are mature in their thinking and handling of the issues of life. Unfortunately, some people enter into marriage with childish behaviors. But we need to do away with childish behaviors in marriage!

When I was a child, I spoke as a child,I understood as a child,I thought as a child:but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1Corinthians 13:11)

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined in unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh (Ephesians 5:31)

Children have a number of positive behaviors. However, they also have some negative behaviors which we must be discard in order for us to have successful marriages.

1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY: You can not afford to be irresponsible when you get married. You have got to understand your roles and take responsibility. A child may cost along in life with a carefree attitude because he or she is not responsible to ensure that there is food on the table in the house. Getting married means you assume responsibilities that you must be well aware of. Lack of taking responsibility causes serious problems in a marriage. 
The Lessons That I Have Learned In 30 Years Of Marriage - Pastor Berry Dambaza Speaks (Part 4)
One of the clearest signs of maturity is taking responsibility. Therefore be responsible for the success of your marriage. Marriage really calls for for mature people taking their responsibilities seriously. You can not put marriage on autopilot simply because that facility and gadget does not exist in marriage.

2. DON’T BE SELFISH: Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others (Philippians 2:4) The NIV puts this verse this way: Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In simple words don’t only look to your own interests at the expense of the other partner’s interests. Sometimes children can exhibit selfishness but in marriage one needs to grow up by discarding such behavior. A lot of conflict is rooted in selfishness. The key to real happiness in marriage is based on fulfilling your spouse. As you do so you in turn are fulfilled by the other partner.

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,do ye so to them: for this is the law and the prophets (Matthew 7:12). Be the best student of your partner. Know what your partner likes and what they don’t like. Do not enter into a marriage for what you can get but rather for what you can give. It takes maturity to have that mindset.

3.GROWING IN EACH SEASON: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

A marriage goes through different seasons or phases. Each season calls for growth. Some people refuse to grow and this brings a whole range of problems. There are some childish behaviors that should not be carried into some seasons of marriage. Growth means leaving such behaviors.

We must be like the children of Issachar who had understanding of the “times” or “seasons” and knew what Israel needed to do in each season. (1Chronicles 12:32) Each phase of our marriage should bring a measure of corresponding maturity. Sometimes lack of understanding of seasons in marriage can bring challenges that can severely test the foundations of a marriage. We were meant to thrive in every season.


Blessed is the man (or woman) that trust in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green;and shall not be careful in the year of drought, nether shall cease from yielding fruit(Jeremiah 17:7,8)

From The Same Author:

The Lessons That I Have Learned In 30 Years Of Marriage - Pastor Berry Dambaza Speaks (Part 1)
The Lessons That I Have Learned In 30 Years Of Marriage - Pastor Berry Dambaza Speaks (Part 2)
The Lessons That I Have Learned In 30 Years Of Marriage - Pastor Berry Dambaza Speaks (Part 3)
The Lessons That I Have Learned In 30 Years Of Marriage - Pastor Berry Dambaza Speaks (Part 5)

Berry Dambaza is a dynamic power packed preacher of the gospel with a life changing and life impacting ministry. He has been divinely endowed with a unique and powerful gift of ministering the Word of God that captivates listeners' attention.
Pastor-S-B-Dambaza
Pastor-S-B-Dambaza
Pastor-S-B-Dambaza
Pastor-S-B-Dambaza

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