Nobody wants to admit that their partner doesn’t respect them. This terrible truth comes out in different kinds of ways, all with the common thread of not treating you how you deserve to be treated.
Here are some signs this is happening to you.
1. THEY DON’T LISTEN TO YOU. Listening is a significant part of communication, if it’s not there then you have a big problem. Maybe your partner only seems half-there when you talk or perhaps it seems things just go in one ear and out the other. They often can’t remember conversations you had because they weren’t listening and/or they don’t care.
2. THEY DON’T MAKE YOU A PRIORITY. You should be a top priority in their life—you’re their partner. If they can’t make proper space for you, why stick with them? Maybe this lack of respect looks like not having time for you in their schedule or not paying proper attention to you while you’re in a group of people. Whatever it is, you aren’t getting the attention and appreciation you deserve.
3. THEY DON’T TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU. Maybe your partner doesn’t identify as a feminist but you do. This is likely a topic that you’re very passionate about because it’s a core part of who you are. A partner who respects you would take the time to learn about what feminism is, knowing how important it is to you.
They’d be open-minded enough to stretch their understandings of things.
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| Misunderstanding |
5. YOU HAVE TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR TO LOVED ONES. Your friends see right through your partner’s crap. They notice they aren’t treating you well and they want you to get out of the relationship. As a last attempt at trying to soothe your loved one’s nerves, you come up with a bunch of excuses about why your partner does what they do. You excuse their poor behavior and sometimes even go to the extreme of lying for them.
6. THEY INVITE FRIENDS OUT ON YOUR DATE. You are looking forward to just you and your partner, a night out together. Maybe you’re envisioning a romantic dinner and a chance to really connect. Instead, your partner asks if you mind going to a local pub because their buddy is going to join. This isn’t a one-time occurrence either—it’s happened many times before.
7. THEY PAY A TON OF ATTENTION TO THEIR PHONE WHEN YOU’RE TOGETHER. I get it, we all love to be on our phones, but there’s a limit. Your partner should be minimizing their phone usage when you’re with one another. You should be enjoying each other’s company , most other things can wait. Of course, there are exceptions like when you’ve mutually agreed to be together while also hanging out on your phones because this can definitely happen. I’m talking about times like being at dinner.
8. THEY HIGHLIGHT YOUR WEAKNESSES. When you’re in an argument and sometimes even when you’re not, they like to point out what they perceive as wrong with you. Maybe they’re flaws you’ve identified yourself or some that they’ve decided on. Regardless, your partner loves to talk about them, especially when you two are in a fight or the spotlight is on them.
9. THEY DON’T ALLOW YOU TO HAVE YOUR OWN SPACE. Disrespect doesn’t always have to take the form of doing something outwardly rude. It can also disguise itself as something loving like your partner wanting to spend a ton of time with you. This may seem nice on the surface, but in reality, they aren’t respecting the fact that you have your own life.
You two should have a life together as well as your own separate lives. Boundaries are good.
By Ginelle Testa
