Friday, 8 December 2017

A Must Read - Dear Husband, This Is Why I Cheated! (Part 2)

Dear Husband, You cheated on me so many times. Now you know how it feels. I bet you thought that when I aired my concerns and you gave me one of your many sweet talks, I got over it. 

I was happy to remain ignorant and accept your presents as you tried to hide your guilt, but when you started sneaking into the neighbour’s house, I knew I wasn’t going to remain your doormat anymore. I started plotting my revenge.

I am grateful for social media. I started responding to all the guys who inboxed me, both strangers and familiar faces. At first I did it to appease myself. After a while I got bored and downloaded a free dating application to increase my possibility of meeting the perfect candidate to use in my ploy to hurt you. That is how I met Michael, a sweet Danish man who soothed my anguish and bitterness. It turned into a love affair.
Depressed lady
It all come full circle when I told you that I am leaving you for another man. I can still see the look on your face in my head. I know how your thick eyebrows twitch when you are angry and I could see you struggling to contain your emotions. But your anger broke loose; profanities poured out of your mouth. When I held my ground, your anger turned into pleas. You begged me not to leave you. I wrestled with my decision, because I did not want to sell my love story with Michael short. I don’t want my story to be about stooping to your level. As I write this letter, two things are clear; I have had my closure and my heart is in better hands.
Rose.

Dear Husband, 
Most people say if you want to express yourself clearly, you need to write it down. My sugar pie – I hope I can still call you that despite the pain I caused – I now realise how much I still love you.

I want to take this chance to explain everything to you and I can only hope that you will forgive me and allow me to earn your trust. I understand you feel that I embarrassed you to the neighbours with my wailing the other day when you were throwing me out of our house. I should not have hurled all those insults at you; it was all in the heat of the moment. I know I said that I cheated with Vinny because you were not good in bed; the truth is, I said that to hurt your feelings and get back to you for treating me like I didn’t matter to you. Anyway this letter is not about that dramatic day. I wanted to come out clean about my affair with Vinny.

It all started at Maria’s sports day at school. Vinny has a girl at the school. On that fateful day Vinny’s wife couldn’t attend so he came in her stead. We started off talking as parents and much to our surprise, we had so many things in common. Can you imagine my excitement when
Vinny said he liked spoken word and plays – the things you find very boring? We would meet almost every day as we picked our children up from school. Our hellos turned to chats and eventually, we decided to meet outside school to watch a play. The physical attraction was evident and the fact that we were both married made it safe because we each had our families to lose.

Vinny and I realised it would be easier for our affair to flourish if our spouses met as well, so that we could camouflage the affair. I wish I could ask for Jackie’s forgiveness as well for pretending to be her friend yet I was sleeping with her husband.

I have a couple of reasons why I cheated, like the way you hang out with your boys the whole weekend or the way you are always on the Playstation when you come home but I won’t, because it’s not. The truth is, I let myself be carried away by temptation. I want everyone who reads this to help me ask for your forgiveness.

Love, Sue.

Dear Husband, I wish I could tell you this to your face, but I refuse to carry the shame of a broken marriage. I will not give my sneering aunties a reason to delight at my failure as a wife nor will I bring grief to my parents. So instead, to ease my burden of guilt and need to vent, I will write this letter hoping that you will come across it in the national newspaper and something will seem familiar.
The news of your new job abroad brought so much happiness to our home. It was an opportunity for you to earn more money and further your career ambitions. As you moved into your managerial position in South Sudan, little did I know that my life as a modern housewife was about to be put to test.

I remember struggling with your absence through the first few months. It was the little things that set me off, like not having you home at the end of the day, not being able to prepare your favourite meals just to make you happy, or sleeping in on Sunday mornings. Since the kids are in high school and the other one at the university, no one bothers to spend quality time with me; they prefer their friends.
The first year passed really slow; you only came home three times that year. Twice for a week and the third time for two weeks over Christmas. I have been complaining about the distance but it doesn’t seem to bother you. You think the long phone conversations and the expensive presents are enough. But loneliness bites, my husband.

It is true that life begins at 40. I started going out for lunch, brunch and shopping after reconnecting with my friends. It is during these outings that I met the first guy, Alex. He was forced to share a table with us since the restaurant got full. He kept glancing my way until my friends invited him to talk to me. We talked long after my friends left. The next day, I invited him over for lunch at the house, and we had sex in the living room. It was spontaneous and exciting.

That was how it began.

I got bored with Alex after meeting Matt in the supermarket then next it was Simon and now it is Sam. I have realised my problem isn’t love – I get that from you – my problem is lust. I am no longer starved of physical satisfaction. Now my biggest fear is, after three years away, you might consider moving back home and I am not ready to stop yet.
Your wife, Jane.

By Fridah Mlemwa

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