Wednesday, 3 August 2016

5 Things To Do When Your Husband Is Involved With A Lover (Small House) - MUST READ.

"I never suspected that Joe who ever do anything like this. We have been married for 10 years. Shamwari, we were the perfect couple and I thought all was going on well, until I read through his phone by mistake. 

These whatsapp messages had a name attached to it, 'Number dzaBhiridha (Builders Number).' By mistake I opened it and what I saw has nothing to do with construction industry. Ndakarwadziwa (I was hurt)." As a pastor I get to hear such stories on almost a weekly basis and have to deal with these to restore families. My response is "hatiramwe munda nekuti gudo raba chimuguri."(We do not leave the field because a baboon stole a maize cob). Though situations differ and issues differ as much as the characters involved here is a basic way to respond when you find out that your husband is cheating.


1. Never confront his mistress in your emotional break-down: The first thing many married women do is to confront the husbands mistress. This is where you lose it. You are a married woman and the mistress is not at par with you. Going head-on with her will demote you of your position. You are higher than Miss Mistress. attacking her will rid her of her guilt and release her to hurt you in word or physically. Remember, is just a sucker, a mosquito, drinking off your man and has nothing to lose in this whole issue...you have!
Praying Woman
2. Never confront your husband in your anger: Usually when you do things at the apex of your emotions you end up doing wrong things and sometimes remain the guilty person. Many thoughts will obviously rush through your mind but press "pause" button. Remember even though your husband has not known that you know that he is cheating, no matter how hard he is, inside of him God is tagging his conscience and he feels guilty, especially if you have been a good wife. be like the eagle. An eagle has the ability to go head-on against the storm but being mature it does not...it chooses to soar above the storm. Obviously Apostle Sibiya knows that this is not an easy feat.

3. Pray: Instead of spreading the news to your mum, sisters and friends take some time to pray. I definitely know this is not the easiest time to pray yet even your silent tears can be decoded by God. That song, those tears, those groans are prayers and God hears them. Why should you pray? Because this attack is spiritual in nature more than physical:
  • Since Miss wants your hubby so much she may be engaging in spiritism and voodoo to win your man. Your man is not on the right foot and needs you to war on his behalf. Miss is winning him in the spirit , win him back in the spirit.
  •  By engaging in an extra-marital affair or adultery your husband has opened a door to the demonic world for the family. You are the one standing, fight.
  • Sexual sin leads to soul ties that can keep your husband to stay in that relationship. Break it in the spirit.
  • A happy marriage is a bother to Satan because it mysteriously represents Christ's relationship to the church. He therefore fights it with all weapons.
  • In such a scenario you become void of will-power and only prayer can help you.
At this point you may also need the help of your spiritual parents, pastors or professional counsellors. Do not keep it in, speak out to responsible people.

4. Respect and honour: Obviously no one of us will see the need to respect someone who is cheating. We feel we hate them and they do not deserve our respect.

However when you decide to stand tall against your husband that, especially in an African context may be used against you. Now to respect him does not mean you are not hurt, it means you have put your emotions under control. Try by all means to be your normal self...try by all means!

5. Confront: When you finally feel that you have had enough counsel and are a bit emotionally stable, look out for the perfect time to confront.

In your mind the reason for confrontation should be to restore your relationship and cut off the other relationship. this is how:
  • Pray
  • Tell your husband all the good things he does and appreciate them
  •  Tell him how much you love him and would never want to lose him
  • Excuse yourself for any faults you may have done against him
  • Ask / Tell him about the other affair.
  • Explain to him how this has hurt you. Please be very open here, ladies, this is your man. Tell him how this makes you feel before him like you feel, dumped, rejected, dejected, cheated, reckless, betrayed, like hating him...be open!
  • Ask for a way forward after he has, hopefully seen that he is wrong and is willing to change.
Being cheated in a deep hurt. Let me pray with you my sister:
Apostle Pride Sibiya
Apostle Pride Sibiya Writes and Teaches Sexual Integrity.
"Lord I pray for my sister here and I commit her to your grace and mighty hand. Lord please help her in this trying time to do what is right in your sight. I also pray for her husband that you may speak to his heart that he may revert to godly ways. I pray for this family right now that the blood of Jesus may wash them, forgive them and close every demonic door, in Jesus name. Amen."

Be encouraged. Receive Jesus Christ today.

By Apostle Pride Sibiya.

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